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Things I had no idea about before having a baby

Jordan Murphy

 

Welcome back!
 
So this is the first blog post of 2019, and I thought I would start with something lighthearted to get us back into the swing of things.
 
You may know by now I can be an over sharer (sorry about that) but I like to share my up’s and downs of motherhood in the hope that I’m not alone and someone somewhere might find some comfort in the fact they are going through the same thing.
 
So with that in mind, here are the things I had NO idea about before having a baby.
 
 
- I thought my labour would be done in an hour like a ‘1 born every minute’ episode. I thought I would go into hospital and be in and out quickly. Little did I know that IS NOT the case and mine was the complete opposite and resulted in an emergency caesarean.
 
 
- I had no idea you had to sterilise bottles. The last time I sterilised anything was when I pierced my brothers ear. Wait, DID I sterilise that needle? Sorry bro.
 
 
- How to change a nappy. Seriously, I’d never changed a nappy before. You can imagine the sweat induced anxiety having to change my sons nappy for the first time in front of the midwife.
 
 
- As soon as you become pregnant everyone likes to give you ‘advice’ whether you asked for it or not (normally not). Sandra in the supermarket, Brenda from down the road, Deidre in the waiting room. Also, don’t get me started on the strangers wanting to touch your bump.
 
 
- Peeing into the tiniest bottles known to man would become a personal challenge to successfully not pee on my own hand.
 
 
- I would become obsessed with another humans poo (my son's not just random people's). Too much, too little, ooo that’s a strange colour, is that a poo stain on my t shirt?
 
 
-The tiredness. I wish I was as tired now as I thought I was pre baby.
 
- My boobs would resemble a tennis ball in a sock after growing to a whopping 36G while pregnant. The lady that measured me for a nursing bra at 37 weeks actually told me she felt sorry for me. True story. That’s also what NOT to say to an emotional pregnant lady just about to give birth.
 
- I would google everything! I have looked for the answers to some very questionable things at 4am. My favourite being “Can I die from no sleep?”
 
I’m sure by now you’re wondering how I ever survived with the little to no knowledge of babies. But I did, so if the woman that googles her way through motherhood can do it, so can you.
 
So tell me, what did you have no idea about before you had a baby?
 
 
 
 
 

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1 comment

  • I never knew that nasal aspirators were a thing and it would be so much fun to use one on a wriggling 9 month old with a cold!!!

    Sarah

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